Downshift Musings

7 months

It’s been 7 months since the death of my youngest sister Becky and the addition of her two children Hope and Wyatt to our lives. I’m still trying to figure out the new day-to-day. Back to Middle School (bleh!), school drop-off/pickup, so many activities that have to be scrunched between the hours of 4 and 7pm. I recall now why I only worked part-time during these years with our children Genevieve and Tristan.

The family dynamics still need some work. It’s hard taking on children that weren’t raised by us or taught the expectations and behaviors that we would have instilled in them if we’d have them at a younger age. They are good-hearted kids, but we definitely have some work to do in the next 4-5 years. We’re going to be starting some family therapy next week. I just finally got the court letters formally establishing my guardianships May 2.

Struggles

I’m not really comfortable yet with my life but I also can’t imagine how I would have coped with our current situation if I was still employed. I’m not sure if I really miss my job, but I definitely miss getting a paycheck and the affirmation of my former career. If I went back full-time I’d probably regret it instantly, but it might be nice to figure out something small to do. It would be lovely to do something with travel adventures.

Rich and I don’t get much time alone. The kids don’t seem to understand that we even have that need. Of course, my sister was widowed and never dated after the death of her husband. I don’t think my niece and nephew ever had marriage modeled for them. At any rate, now that the semester is over I hope Rich can relax a little and maybe we can plan time together away from the kids.

In February I re-focused some of my energy on getting healthier and that’s been going great. Back in the day I was quite the gym rat, at one point working out or running 6 days a week. Well, I’m not that energetic but I’ve added Zumba classes and hiking and I’m back at a reasonable weight and feeling a lot better, allergies aside. I could not focus on my physical health with all of the stress of post-pandemic life and my sister’s illness. Last year was a huge whammy!

There are those little niggling tasks that I keep putting off. I’ve got a whole bunch of family photographs after the death of my mother and father last spring that I promised to scan, but haven’t. I don’t know why I am avoiding some of these things. Another thing I need to do is upgrade the theme for this blog…ugh. For someone who worked in technology I don’t like upgrades, maybe because I know how badly things can go wrong.

Upsides

Just for fun this Spring I also took some classes from the Lifetime Learning Institute of Austin. LLI reminds me of the old University of Texas Informal Classes where I took knitting, ball room dancing and tennis. Well, this time I took French Beginner II, Our Place in the Cosmos and an exercise class Zumba Gold. It was a lot of fun to be in-person with other retired folks who are lifetime learners. Everybody has so many interesting experiences to share!

Travel! We’re off to Europe next month with friends. We’ll start in Trieste, then bus to Ljubljana, Slovenia and then make our way to Spit, Croatia where we will do a walking trip to Dubrovnik. I’m sending the kids to stay with two of the aunties in Maryland and Pennsylvania while we’re away.

In late September I am ditching Hope and Wyatt with Rich while my son Tristan and I do another pilgrimage in Spain. This time we will walk the Primitive Way through the mountains of Asturias. I’ve been looking forward to this route for a long time.

Still lots of gardening going on. I now have time (but not money) to work on the landscape. A lot of things were kind of ignored while I was working or I had to pay a yard guy to do a mediocre job. Yard work will definitely keep me fit since it’s such hard work and NEVER ends.

Also volunteering more. I’m on the board of El Buen Samaritano and Micah 6 and I’ve added Tuesday morning volunteering at Loaves and Fishes. My calendar is full!

Why

Why am I even writing this post? Gosh this blog has been so neglected. I probably should just stop paying for the hosting service, but somehow I can’t. I had such plans but it seems so hard to be in the right mindset to work on my original idea for this site. I’m hoping to develop the clarity of mind to make this work and the first step is to just write something again!